Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Unrealistic expectation...

I expected not to have a child until I get settled in this new city. I expected that we could make a plan and decide when we are ready to have a little one.  I expected that my biological clock will not prevent me to have a child if at the end we decided to have one. I expected we will have a long talk deciding when is the right time. I expected that God knows the best time and it will be the same with the time that we thought would be the best.

None comes true.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Menulislah jika bermanfaat....

Sedang terinspirasi dengan bacaan di blogs tetangga yang sangat informative dan bermanfaat. Kemudian terdiam melihat isi blog ini. Jika ada manusia yang tidak sengaja tersasar ke blog ini dan dengan khilaf membaca isinya, alangkah sangat disayangkan. Menghabiskan waktu dan tenaga membaca tanpa mendapatkan manfaatnya. Sungguh suatu perbuatan yang sia-sia. Melebihi kesia-siaan penulisan blog ini. At least penulisan blog ini adalah saat saya mati gaya atau butuh tempat menjaga kewarasan. Sementara yang tersasar barangkasi sedang berusaha menemukan informasi yang dibutuhkan dan terjebak dalam ratusan kata tak berguna. *halah*

I want to continue writing in English just so I won't forget this language. Hmmmm.... took some time to find my words right now.  I don't even know what I wanna say in Indonesia. Right... I wanna say that I want to keep practicing - mengasah skill?- what kind of language was that? So I guess it has been quite some time that I stop thinking in English. I need to translate the words by words and as usual I can't figure out the words in the other language. I know that I never good in learning new language and even now, I feel so tired trying to push myself thinking in English.

Okay... enough for today.
Highlights of my life... New life, new job, new city, new condition, new things...

Wish me luck! 

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Effects of elevated CO2 on vitamin E concentrations in grains of two wheat cultivars – A FACE study

Sabine Tausz-Posch1, Violace A. Putri1, Saman Seneweera1, Robert Norton1,2, Glenn Fitzgerald3 and Michael Tausz4
1 Department of Agriculture and Food Systems, The University of Melbourne, Private Bag 260, Horsham VIC 3401, Australia, Email
International Plant Nutrition Institute, 54 Florence St, Horsham VIC 3401, Australia

Victorian Department of Primary Industries, Private Bag 260, Horsham VIC 3401, Australia
Department of Forest and Ecosystem Science, The University of Melbourne, Water St, Creswick VIC 3363, Australia


Vitamin E is essential for the human diet. Wheat (Triticum aestivum L.), as a basic food staple for the human diet, supplies not only significant amounts of dietary carbohydrates and proteins, but is also abundant in structurally related vitamin E compounds called tocols. While it has been shown that rising atmospheric CO2 [CO2] decreases protein as well as macro- and micro nutrients in wheat grains, possible effects of elevated [CO2] (e[CO2]) on tocols have received little attention. This study compares the tocols (α−, γ−, δ−tocopherols and α−, β−, γ−tocotrienol) of two wheat cultivars (Janz and Zebu) under two CO2 levels (ambient a[CO2] ~390 ppm, e[CO2] ~550 ppm) in order to study intra-specific variability of responses to e[CO2]. Plants were grown within the Australian Grains Free Air Carbon Dioxide Enrichment (AGFACE) facility, Horsham (Victoria). Tocols of grains were analysed three weeks before and at maturity. Tocol concentrations were not affected by CO2 treatment. Cultivar specific differences were only found for tocotrienols but not for tocopherols with Zebu having significantly greater α−, β−, γ−tocotrienol concentrations than Janz. Also, tocol concentrations decreased from early to late sampling date, except for α-tocotrienol, which increased, and γ-tocopherol, which did not change between sampling dates. Based on these findings our data suggest that rising CO2 concentrations do not impact tocol concentrations in wheat grains, which has positive implications for the food quality of a future climate.

Key Words

Triticum aestivum, vitamin E, elevated CO2, climate change, Free Air Carbon Dioxide Enrichment (FACE) 

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Dreams updated

I have listed my dreams before and revisit it.
Here is the list
1. Finish the thesis : DONE 
2. Italy trip with him : Not Happening
3. Graduated : DONE
4. A trip with my sister : DELAYED
5. Get married : DONE
6. Get a diving license : Still in the list
7. Diving! : after I got #6

In the mean time I just got a job (still waiting for the offer tho), and started writing my story.. but the story is going so slow.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Wedding Preparation

Yup.. I successfully finished my second master and went back to my home country. I got an offer to continue a PhD program from my supervisor but I have to reject the offer because of my personal life. It kind of bothering me.. any Indonesian will support my decision especially my family. It doesn't matter if you finished 2 master programmes and got a Phd offer, if you are still single, you lack of achievement. I don't mind rejecting the offer, I personally doubting my ability to do the Phd in that topic for the next 4 years. But.. how can I say it... It's just typical me... I don't like in the same opinion with society.. LoL.

Even though it is my own decision to reject the offer, I don't really like the fact that the society (I mean people surrounding me) agree with that... Because they see having family is more important. I didn't say that getting married is not an important step for me, I just think that's not the only reason I rejected the offer. Eventhough in fact that the easiest answer and I did give that as a reason to my supervisor. Anyway... I am just saying.. I don't know what I am saying actually.

And you know what... Preparing a wedding is a hell of a job. It is easy at the beginning and getting worse to the end. The family, the limitations, the requests, the time.. everything went wrong. At some point I was too lazy to dealt with all those problem and prefer to be single. Isn't that funny..? Why getting married is such an important thing in this society...? Along with all "adat" and family thingy.

Anyway... I have 2 master degrees and no job.. and no one cares... as long as I am getting married. What a crazy world..!

Thursday, January 22, 2015


I started this morning with a lazy feeling. Really do not want to do anything, particularly revising my thesis report. I forced my self to go to my workstation where everyone else in the room was busy in front of their own computer. I sat and started feeling stress. Knowing that I was not in the mood to revise my report, but still forcing myself to do it. It was useless... I just felt warm in my face and my head started aching.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

New Dream, new target

I have to write it down.
I remember long time ago I always said that I want to go a broad. And because I know I couldn't afford it by myself (with my low paid job) I set the goal to get a scholarship, of course in another country. So that was my first time to went abroad. With scholarship. To Australia.

Back from Australia, I set another dream to go to Europe. Since I still stuck in the same low paid job (that will be forever low paid unless I committed corruption, or I become the head office 20 years later or never after), I try another scholarship to Europe. I got it..! And with a bonus of getting rid my old job. For some people who do not understand the situation in Indonesia and the "prestigious" job working for the government, it seems ridiculous that I had difficulties of getting rid of my old low paid job. But many in the same situation with me would understand and some will ridicule me for my decision. I know better what's good for me. So for people in the later group, please keep your opinion for yourself.

Now I almost finish with my study in Europe and I have to set another target. I had this dream that I will get married and be a stay at home mum. None of my friends see it as a promising future and (sadly) nor my significant one, not to mention my family. Hence I have to set my new target, I definitely like to travel but as I realized and wrote in my previous post that it was not the thing I want to achieve. So I just came up with a new target... working in the UN bodies in ROME! Why Rome? I don't know.. I just want to. Just like my previous targets going abroad and Europe.. why should I..? No realistic reason.. just human neediness for something that I think looks cool.

Or.. probably with that job I could afford to travel around the world as a break from life routine, not as the goal of life itself.

So wish me luck..!!